I still remember a few years ago when my sister in law said something about me joining Facebook. I vehemently refused! At that time my only real exposure to social networking was MySpace, who I felt for the most part was full of a bunch of immature, self-involved children and I had recently deleted my profile there because I just didn't see the point.
I finally gave in the day before my birthday in 2008. Hard to believe it's been that long and imaging the amount of time wasted in Facebook at this point just depresses me. I started with a profile, added friends from various parts of my life and soon after created a fan page for the dogs titled, Desta Rhodesian Ridgebacks. Privacy soon became a concern and I stripped the fan page of everything except a few photos and links to reference people to my "dog" profile. It was a huge undertaking to separate things, but now I'm glad I did.
Fast forward to today! I'm sure an entire book could be written about various aspects of Facebook and social media in general. Social media seems to be the norm today; but it doesn't come without a price. It's used and abused in so many complex ways. Companies who refuse to keep up with technology are suddenly finding themselves with missing and diminishing business. 15 years ago, how often did we go online to search for reviews on a product, hotel, business? Today consumers constantly search for online reviews and content about products quite frequently before purchase; there's been a huge shift from word of mouth to online word. But here's the catch 22, we are taking advise and feedback from strangers. Word of mouth comes from people we know and trust it's an interesting shift. Retailers without an online presence are suffering. Several years ago with all the Black Friday hysteria Cyber Monday was dubbed, and now for the last few years along with special Black Friday deals there are now special Cyber Monday deals. The internet isn't going away folks and it will continue to evolve and shape our communities and the way we interact with each other.
I have a variety of friends and personalities that I interact with. I enjoy different viewpoints and love seeing people's hobbies. Being active in the AKC conformation world with my 2 youngest Ridgebacks it's introduced me to many wonderful people, some of whom I never would have met otherwise and been sorry I never had. However it's also introduced me to the complete opposite as well. I realize there will never be a day the entire dog fancy gets along. But I sure think a lot of people could try a lot harder at it!
We all encounter mean nasties and bullies in our lives, the world seems to have no shortage of them; but it's how we respond to them that makes the difference. The peacemakers out there will tell you to turn the other cheek, which I mostly agree with; I believe at some point there is a line you have to decide you will never let them cross. No matter how much someone should contribute to the general getting along, there is absolutely no excuse to abuse someone in any manner, directly or indirectly. My viewpoint is to peacefully stand up for myself. I stay calm, collected, use common sense and a tone of voice that is confident but otherwise devoid of emotion.
Bullies will use whatever tools they have to belittle, dominate, ridicule or otherwise make the lives of others miserable and one great tool they have is Facebook. From obvious outright attacks to thinly veiled pseudo-anonymous jabs at someone or a group of individuals. I've seen attacks go as far as creating some over-dramatized false account of a situation and encouraging everyone to publicly roast this pseudo-fictional person to creating imagery that supports one side or another to vaguebooking in attempts to stir up their connections of "what's wrong??!" and make it looks like other people drug the information out of them when it was their ultimate goal in the first place. I've tried very hard in the last few months to mitigate my exposure to this behavior. Some individuals I've outright unfriended, others I've removed their commentary from my news feed so I just don't even see it. It seems to circulate around the same people over and over. I'm never going to say I haven't participated or had my moment where my head and emotions haven't felt my Mount Saint Helens about to blow off my top. Feeling and expressing emotions is a healthy behavior, my concern is each generation seems to be less capable of coping with their experiences and emotions in a healthy manner and Facebook just is not a healthy outlet. Several years ago when feeling pent up angst for one reason or another, I used to drive out to my parents property, saddle up my horse and go blazing through the forest and quite literally, ride out my frustrations. My mare was an Arabian and she was always more than willing to do this with me, she loved to run. I gave her away to a family that lives near state land before I moved to North Carolina so today my outlets have to be modified a bit. Go outside, lay in the grass and get mauled my happy licking Ridgebacks, if you don't walk back inside laughing and wiping your face off there's something wrong with you!
As I said before, Facebook is a great way to connect with people you otherwise would not have had the opportunity to meet. I know that many of the people I've personally met in the last almost 4 years, I will be friends with for years to come, some a lifetime. We'll cheer and laugh together though good news and cry together through bad news. Every tool out there can be used for good or evil purposes and social media absolutely falls in both categories. It's the individuals using it for over-frequent shameless self-promotion or for various means of negative impact on others that had me considering completely disabling my account. However, I don't want to miss out on the opportunities to celebrate the successes and commiserate the disappointments to those people I've connected with. I think the solution lies in setting limits. Before you verge into the social media arena you need to decide in advance what you will share, how you'll share it, who you want to share it with and set limits on what you will allow others to do to you and what you will participate in. You can't control others, but you can control how you respond to it.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
An Introduction
Today someone asked me where I saw myself in 10 years. I was at quite an impasse, I certainly didn't see myself where I am today 10 years ago. No - where - even - close. I assumed I'd still be married, raising a couple of children, living the 'American dream'.
10 years ago I was what I perceived to be happily married, though I'd learn later that I was simply blind or ignorant of the warning signs that things were about to implode on my tender life. I had a wonderful 18 month old Rhodesian Ridgeback named Tuvok who was such a delight, I lost him a month ago, a hurt that still makes my heart ache to this very moment. We were fortunate enough to live 2 doors away from his litter brother Nytro and the boys played at regular intervals alternating yards.
Those who are over 30 know it's a huge understatement to say that you change a lot between 20 to 30 years old. I got married just before I turned 23 and was divorced soon after I turned 26. Looking back at those ages and the experiences I went through almost takes my breath away. At the time I felt like I was an adult and that I could handle the pressures of adulthood, today, I realize what a child I still was. My sister is 27 and I just can't imagine her having gone through all of that already in her life, it simply boggles my mind.
I will never regret the experiences of my tender youth, because I wouldn't be who I am today without having gone through such a tremendous amount of pain during that time. I know there are still hard times to come and there have been some since, but I go through them differently now because I've already been to Hell and back and I know I can survive it.
But despite the devastation of my 20's I realized many years ago that they are experiences and that they in no way define who I am. Time and again I hear women introduce themselves by their experiences; "I'm a divorced mother of 3", "I'm a single business woman", "I'm a college student", etc. Well, I'm Andrea Williams. What you see is what you get. I'm kind, generous, intelligent, capable and if you wrong the ones I love you will meet a creature of such fierce vengeance you will wish you'd never crossed my path.
10 years ago I was what I perceived to be happily married, though I'd learn later that I was simply blind or ignorant of the warning signs that things were about to implode on my tender life. I had a wonderful 18 month old Rhodesian Ridgeback named Tuvok who was such a delight, I lost him a month ago, a hurt that still makes my heart ache to this very moment. We were fortunate enough to live 2 doors away from his litter brother Nytro and the boys played at regular intervals alternating yards.
Those who are over 30 know it's a huge understatement to say that you change a lot between 20 to 30 years old. I got married just before I turned 23 and was divorced soon after I turned 26. Looking back at those ages and the experiences I went through almost takes my breath away. At the time I felt like I was an adult and that I could handle the pressures of adulthood, today, I realize what a child I still was. My sister is 27 and I just can't imagine her having gone through all of that already in her life, it simply boggles my mind.
I will never regret the experiences of my tender youth, because I wouldn't be who I am today without having gone through such a tremendous amount of pain during that time. I know there are still hard times to come and there have been some since, but I go through them differently now because I've already been to Hell and back and I know I can survive it.
But despite the devastation of my 20's I realized many years ago that they are experiences and that they in no way define who I am. Time and again I hear women introduce themselves by their experiences; "I'm a divorced mother of 3", "I'm a single business woman", "I'm a college student", etc. Well, I'm Andrea Williams. What you see is what you get. I'm kind, generous, intelligent, capable and if you wrong the ones I love you will meet a creature of such fierce vengeance you will wish you'd never crossed my path.
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